Topic 3
Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
4. 構成は5パラグラフを基本とする
(Introduction → Body1 Body 2 Body 3 → Conclusion)
5. 校正も30分以内に行う
アイコさんのエッセイ ※制限時間:30分
Although some people think that too much information on the Internet causes problems, I think that it has given people much more advantages than disadvantages. There are two reasons for this: convenience and equality. This essay will discuss them more deeply.
First of all, the convenience of the Internet can provide you easier life because you can ask a question online. Today, if you ask a question on a chatting board, someone tell you an answer in at least one week. Therefore, you can get the information about what you want to know much more quickly and surely than you used to when you had only phones and radios. Moreover, you can ask a nameless question online by using an account name. Thus, it can be said that the Internet allows people to express their true feelings. For example, you can ask what college you should go after graduation or how to lose your weight without giving short weight.
Second, thanks to the Internet, people may have more equal chances, in other words, the gap between rich people and poor people is becoming smaller. This is because it makes the educational costs smaller than they generally used to. Recently, there have been a lot of free materials to study on the Internet. For instance, there are many online courses offered by famous universities. Anyone are able to listen to the lecturers and get a support about what they have difficulty in understanding. If you do not have much money to study abroad or out of your hometown, you can take a course of universities around the world. In addition to this, you might get a job in an international company if you get good marks on the courses. A lot of global companies are pay attention to the rankings of successful students in order to gain gifted employees.
For these reasons, I think the Internet have positive influences on your lives rather than negative influences. It has made your lives much more convenient and offered you more equality.
(338 words)
エッセイ添削例
Although some people think that too much information [is] on the Internet causes problems, I think that it [this is] has given people much more [of an] advantages than [a] disadvantages. There are two [main] reasons [I believe]for [this]: convenience and equality. This essay will discuss them [these two points in] more deeply [detail below].
First of all, the convenience of the Internet can provide you [make life] easier life [and more convenient] because you can ask a questions online. Today, iIf I you ask a question on a chatting board, someone [will] tell you an [the] answer in at least one week [soon]. Therefore, yYou can get the [correct] information about what you want to know much more quickly [today] and surely than you used to when you had only [a] phones [or a] and radios. Moreover, you can ask a nameless question[s] online [and] by us[e]ing an [your] account name[, so you don’t have to give your real name.] For example, you can ask [private questions like] what college you should go [to] or how to [best] lose weight without giving short weight [letting others know who you are]. Thus, it can be said that the Internet allows people to express their true feelings.[,by making it possible to ask questions and receive answers in a convenient, confidential way].
Second, thanks to the Internet, people may have are become[ing] more equal chances, in other words,. tThe gap between [the educational opportunities available to the] rich people and the poor people is becoming smaller. This is because it [The Internet] makes the educational costs smaller than they generally used to [cheaper]. Recently, there have been a lot of free materials to study on the Internet. For instance, there are mMany online courses [are being] offered by famous universities [at reasonable prices, and everyone]. Anyone are able to [can] listen to the lecturers and [even] get a [further] support about what [if] they have [need] it. difficulty in understanding.[There is also a lot of free materials available to help you study on the Internet. Unlike in earlier times,] Iif you do not have much [enough] money to study abroad or out of [cannot leave] your hometown, [it is now possible for] you can [to] take a course of [online from a university] universities around the world. In addition to this, you might[You can get an education using the Internet without actually being at the school. There is a chance] you might get a job in an international company if you [are able to] get good marks on the [your] online courses. A lot of gGlobal companies are pay attention to the rankings of successful students [because they want]in order to gain [hire] gifted employees. [As you can see, the Internet is opening-up and equalizing the chance to get a higher education which many could never dream of having before.]
For these [the] reasons [of convenience and equality], I think the Internet [will] have [a] positive influences on your [our] lives rather than a negative influences. It has made your lives [Life is certainly] much more convenient [since the arrival of the Internet as we can ask questions, get answers, and express our true feelings in a confidential way. At the same time, the Internet is helping to make the world a more equal place as many now have the chance to get a higher education which they couldn’t get before] and offered you more equality.